Headline of the day

Without a doubt, it's this little beauty from www.eircomloi.ie.

Dunne: 'I want to play for Rovers'

Ireland international Richard Dunne has signaled his desire to sign for Shamrock Rovers once his Premiership playing career is over.

Tallaght-born Dunne told the current edition of Hot Press magazine that several current Ireland internationals have expressed interest in joining the eircom League of Ireland. The centre-back, who will win his 34th Ireland cap this Saturday, has also backed Rovers' attempts to relocate to Tallaght.

Dunne is currently considered to be an integral part of the Manchester City defence in the English Premier League. However, he told Hot Press that he sees himself one day lining out for Rovers in the Tallaght Stadium.

"I'd definitely consider ending my career at Rovers", said Dunne. "Getting players to come back is definitely something the FAI should look at because it might add 200 or 300 to attendances and start helping the clubs out a bit more. I know from talking to them that a lot of our English-based players would be up for it."

Dunne comes from a family steeped in the League of Ireland. His father played for Rovers in the '50s, while several uncles also played in the league. Dunne is a cousin of Tony Cousins, who last season was appointed manager of Galway United.

He has expressed his frustration that Rovers have been unable to move into their planned new home in Tallaght due to legal objections from local GAA clubs.

"I've been looking at it [the unfinished stadium] for the last five years", he said. "I hope they get it finished because potentially it's such a great thing for the area."

Dunne's international team mate Paul McShane also backs the current rejuvenation of the eircom League of Ireland. McShane told Hot Press of his belief that it is hugely beneficial for some players to gain experience in the eircom League of Ireland before moving to England.

"That option existing is brilliant because not everybody has a club coming in for them when they're at school or wants to leave home at that age", he said. "Reading getting Kevin Doyle for £80,000 has to be one of all-time great bargains, and one they've repeated with Shane Long, who is going to be immense for them next season. I don't know what Wolves paid to get Stephen Ward from Bohs, but that's looking like money well spent too".

McShane also believes that ex-Bohs man Ward has what it takes to break into Steven Staunton's squad.


Fantastic stuff.

The only gay tiger in the village

This tiger thinks he's a pig.

Have you ever thought you were a different animal? Best answer wins a copy of Animal Farm (that's right, that Animal Farm)

A hairy mystery

I've been thinking a lot about footballers with beards - about how hot their faces must get, about the potential loss of earnings with razor companies, but mostly about the fact that there aren't any.

Since the fall of Socrates, whose hairy brillance is pictured here, beards have been driven out of the game. Like noisey rattles, skin-tight shorts, and Leeds United F.C., beards are now a thing of the past.

In Iran - because that's always the first place I look for common sense thinking - they have even banned beards from the game.

Stop the madness, I say. Free the beards.

A free bottle of Just For Men for the first reader to name a bearded footballer who is still playing.

The dam goes yuppie

So, I'm making this blog entry from my new phone (there are so many reasons why I never thought I'd say that sentence. Well, two anyway). It is terribly slow and utterly complicated, which is surely proof that it is cutting edge technology.
Anyway, in all that has happened over recent weeks, the time available to spend protectimg the online dam has been minimal.However, armed as I am with this Nokia portable internetThere is now no reason for my silence (Apart, of course, from the fact that The screen on my phone can't scroll down and so i can no longer see what i am typing)
in the meantime my faithful readers (and my using that term in plural is only barely justifiable) rest assured that the damn remains intact.

Not funny headline of the day

Someone at Annanova.com has a sick sense of humour. Stuck in the middle of the quirky headline section - usually reserved for stories detailing nudity, animals or both - comes this "gem":

"Girl, 5, asks police for help with drunk parents".

Let's hope Annanova isn't at the next Childline press conference.

Echo, echo, echo

So, it's been a while since I last posted. Of course, the fact that nobody reads this could lead to all sorts of questions about the logic in posting at all. But logic has never been my thing. And besides, my two loyal readers have both made enquiries about my online absense.

"Has the dam finally burst?", they asked.

Fear not, for while the hole is widening, the dam remains in place.

And just to prove it, here's a picture of me taken yesterday.

Ireland's cocaine crisis - quick, somebody send for the Sindo...

Thanks to reading the Sunday Independent, we all know that literally everybody in Ireland is out of their minds on cocaine. In fact, Sunday Independent phone polls indicate that, if you are reading this from a computer in Ireland, you are almost certain to believe that you can fly.

In a catch-all headline that must have had editor Aengus Fanning smirking in the mirror for days, the newspaper recently claimed to have uncovered "proof" (or, at least, the Sindo's version of proof) that the cocaine crisis was behind Ireland's rocketing murder rates, crumbling health system chaos, and admittedly declining road death problem. This was indeed shocking news, and in no way just an attempt to fit every media buzz word into one headline.

In that very same edition, the newspaper claimed that Irish housewives were now becoming hooked on cocaine out of boredom. Not content with having to make tea and iron their man's clothes, mna na Eireann are now snorting their lives away. Hole In The Dam blames the cancellation of Live At Three for this truly worrying situation.

And it's getting worse. As our picture shows, cocaine is now so rife that it can be found not only on every street corner, but now on every field, hedge and passing red truck.

It really is time that somebody outside of Independent News & Media started thinking of the children.